First, I have to say I know some pretty fantastic momma's that do the cry it out method and it works for them, so I hope none of them get offended from this post.
Greg and I were talking the other day about how babies have feelings and those feelings can be hurt. I feel in my heart that if I were to just let him lay there in his crib and cry then he would be thinking, "mommy, why aren't you helping me?! I need you!" I've been reading books to see if Evan is a normal sleeper for a 5 month old and if he isn't what can we do to change it. He wakes up a couple times at night just because he wants his pacifier and when he has it he instantly falls back to sleep, so I find that much easier to do than to let him scream for an hour because I obviously wouldn't be sleeping when that's all I really want.
I read this paragraph in this book that talks about how we fall asleep in our comfy bed with our comfy pillows and blankets, but what if we woke up on the kitchen floor? we would be a little distraught and want to be back in our bed. Babies are the same way when they go to sleep with a pacifier and wake up and it's in the crib somewhere they get upset because they want what was comfortable and they want to go back to the way they were when they fell asleep. It makes total sense.
Last night Evan fell asleep without his pacifier and he only woke up once to eat and he went back to sleep and was still asleep when I left this morning for work. We have a night routine - cereal/solid food, bath, massage, singing, bottle, then bed. I'm really thinking if we just got rid of the pacifier he would be fine. He doesn't take it during the day anyway it's just at night that we need to get rid of it. From what I've read it's normal for him to want to wake up to eat and will be normal until a certain age. Besides just not being able to do it because it literally rips my heart in two just to hear him cry for food, here are some passages that made me totally anti-Cry it out.
Babies and young children are emotional rather than rational creatures. A child cannot comprehend why you are ignoring his cries for help. Ignoring your baby's cries, even with the best of intentions, may lead him to feel that he has been abandoned. Babies are responding to biological needs that sleep "experts" either ignore or deny. It is true that a baby whose crying is ignored may eventually fall back asleep, but the problem that caused the night waking in the first place has remain unsolved. Even if parents have checked to make sure the baby is not sick or in physical discomfort, unless hey pick up the baby, interact with him in a compassionate way, soothe him, or nurse him until he falls back asleep, the underlying or accompanying emotional stress with remain.
The most sensible and compassionate approach is to respond immediately to your child's cries. Remind yourself that you are the parent, and that giving your baby reassurance is one of the joyous responsibilities of being a parent . It is a beautiful feeling knowing that you alone have the power to brighten your child's life and banish fear and sorrow.
and the one that sealed the deal...
He awakes in a mindless terror of the silence, the motionlessness. He screams. He is afire from head to foot with want, with desire, with intolerable impatience. He gasps for breath and screams until his head is filled and throbbing with the sound. He screams until his chest aches, until his throat is sore. He can bear the pain no more and his sobs weaken and subside. He listens. He opens and closes his fists. He rolls his head from side to side. Nothing helps. It is unbearable. He begins to cry again, but it is too much for his strained throat; he soon stops. He waves his hands and kicks his feet. He stops, able to suffer, unable to think, unable to hope. He listens. Then he falls asleep again.
I don't know about you, but when I have gone through something that was emotionally draining I sleep so well because I am emotionally exhausted. It's the same thing that happens to babies.
I know I have an easy baby, but even if I didn't there is no way I could do this method. Those babies are trying to tell us something or maybe they just want us and what is so bad about that?
Anyway, I never even tried this method because I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
