Sunday, October 23, 2011

I miss my boys

My boys are in Ohio. Greg has another interview with another company. He's gotten 2 offers already, but we are waiting for his interview in Michigan this Thursday because he really wants that one, so hopefully he gets an offer there too. I already miss them tremendously and it hasn't even been 12 hours. 
I went to church all alone today. I haven't done that in a very long time. It was so weird that I was the only person I had to get ready. I actually missed saying, "Greg you should get up so you can get ready." I missed getting my little Evan ready and fed and played with and hearing his sweet little laugh. Good thing they will be home tomorrow night! 
I've been having a really rough month and I was actually looking forward to this time to myself, but it's really not helping. I need my husband. I need my sweet boy. They help me more than I even realize. While a little alone time is ok...I'm not a huge fan of this long of alone time. They were in Ohio last week too, but it was barely a 24 hour trip and I had work, so I kept busy. I'm off today and tomorrow and I'm already going crazy. It's far too quiet here. Is it weird that I totally thought I heard Evan crying and started to walk to his crib and remembered they are in Ohio?? I swear I'm not going crazy. It had to of been someone's baby that sounded like my baby. Although I do feel like I'm on high alert when it comes to babies and cries. I always jump when I hear little cries and then I realize it's not my baby I don't have to soothe it. haha

On another note. I read this quote today during my scripture study (which was really nice to have uninterrupted scripture study time) 
"A man is his own tormentor and his own condemner. Hence the saying, they go into the lake that burns with fire and brimstone. The torment of disappointment in the mind of man is as exquisite as a lake burning with fire and brimstone." - Joseph Smith

There are people that I know in Utah that are just so self righteous and so mean and I have been just wanting to be like why do you think you are so perfect and tell them all the ways they aren't, but once I read this quote it changed my mind. 

They are probably hard on themselves and constantly think about all the ways they could be better. It's hard to change and they probably want to, but just haven't gotten there yet.
I am so hard on myself about so many things and I know how bad it sucks when someone points out the things that you already know you need to work on. If we do need to tell someone hey you need to be a little nicer or better here and there then we need to do it with love. I highly doubt anyone changes because someone said hey you suck at life...they probably just went on suckin' it up even more just to spite the other person...I'm pretty sure this was in a talk somewhere...obviously not the way I have written it but something that says something sort of similar, just nicer. haha I tried to find the talk but I couldn't. 

For those that haven't read this Forget me not. You should, so click on my link. Even if you are not LDS and you are a woman you should. It's uplifting. I promise you will be edified. 

PS. Read Unbroken. That book is amazing. 

PSS. I just skyped with my mom, hubs, and Evan and Evan cried...he couldn't figure out why I was in the computer. He stuck his little lip out an whimpered. So good to know he loves his momma! The last time they were gone and came back I picked them up and I have never seen him so excited to see me! What a great feeling! we were climbing the stairs to the apt and he got so excited and then we walked in he started laughing, like belly laughs! He was so excited to be home.

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